(I Just Can't Handle) Life Without You
by Curious Pines
Summary: Just pop into CVS, get what they need, and pop back out. That's all that was on Will's mind. But when disaster strikes, Nico is left on the brink of insanity. Can he survive without the only person who ever loved him back?Solangelo. minor gore and swear. this story might make you sad, but there are good things in store for the end. I hope you all like this! WARNING: character death
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** what's up? So this is my first Solangelo. I'm gonna make it sad, just a fair warning. There will also be minor gore and definitely sware. This is a month or two after BoO. Disclaimer: I do not own PJO/HoO! Though that would be awesome….

I might make this a one-shot, or maybe something like part 1 of whatever. I'll see how this plays out first.

Just in case, I will number this for chapters at the beginning. This will switch between Nico's and Will's POVs every so often, though it will be Nico's majority of the time.

 **Chapter 1: Where Did It Go So Wrong…**

Will rummaged through the stocks of medicine in the infirmary. It was a lazy summer day, the sun beating down on the camp at record temperature. Campers where either lazing about in their cabins or swimming or maybe just hanging about the training arena or the dining pavilion. But Will couldn't stand doing nothing. When his cabin mates refused to roll out of bed and do something, he decided to just take inventory. Much to his chagrin, he found very little left. Some Band-Aids, a small roll of gauze, a bottle of disinfectant, some ambrosia and nectar…

"Looks like a trip to CVS is in order. I'll have to do an overnight shipment of the ambrosia and nectar from Hermes's delivery. Hopefully he'll respond immediately this time and we can make it a one minute delivery. Hmm… and I know just the person to go with me!" He brightened on instant at the thought and, after hastily scribbling down a checklist, dashed off to find him.

Will knocked on the cabin door gently, then pushed it open. Just as he suspected. The Hades cabin was dark and quiet. The only person inside was a dark-haired boy flopped out on his bed, sifting through an old, worn out deck of Mythomagic cards. Will figured the other inhabitant of the cabin, Hazel Levesque, was off with some friends trying to cool off. But her half-brother Nico di Angelo was as stubborn and anti-outdoors as it got.

Nico glanced up at the blond figure in the doorway. Will thought he saw the boy's onyx brown eyes brighten when he saw him. He couldn't help wondering whether it was from the sunlight spilling into the room through the door or that Nico was simply glad to see Will and he silently hoped it was the latter.

"Hey, Will." Nico said, looking down at his cards and singling one out, a fond gaze fixed on the card.

"Hey, Nico. So I'm low on stock in the infirmary and need to go into town to get some things and I was wondering if maybe you'd like to come? I can't go alone in case of an attack so…" Will smiled awkwardly and Nico couldn't help but smile back. He shrugged and sat up in his bed.

"Why not?" He said, a mysterious smile on his face, hair falling in front of his eyes so Will couldn't read his expression. "Let me just get changed first." That's when Will realized he was wearing pajama pants.

"O-oh, right." He said shyly. Nico just went over to his clothes chest and took out a pair of black jeans. Then he locked himself in the bathroom and emerged a few minutes later wearing a black T-shirt and the jeans from the chest, as well as a silver skull ring on his finger.

"All set. Let's go." Nico put simply. Will blinked and recovered his common sense. He had been in an almost trance when Nico had come back out. Will would never admit it, but he thought the boy standing before him was actually kind of cute. He was a powerful young demigod and Will wanted nothing more than to be let into the brooding boy's life. He was so intrigued by Nico's sense of mystery, his shadowed past, and his powerful aura as well as his old-world charm. He knew Nico was gay (Jason can be a bit of a blabbermouth sometimes) but he wasn't sure whether he returned the feelings.

On Nico's side, he had a major crush on Will. But he had no clue whether Will was gay or straight or whatever. The fourteen-year-old was a little afraid of what would happen if he spoke his mind. So instead he practiced what he would say with his Apollo card that he kept on his nightstand. Once Hazel caught him and ever since then she'd been dropping annoying hints to Will who appeared not to catch on to them. Nico wasn't sure if he was thankful or frustrated by that.

The two boys walked off to the Big House. Will said they would have to ask Chiron for transportation. Once they were done with that, which took a while since Seymour the leopard head kept interrupting and Chiron was unconvinced, they managed to get a CHB van driven by the head of security there, Argus. Chiron told them to IM Argus if they needed him to come back or if anything went wrong. There was something strange about how he brought up the 'if something goes wrong' part that unsettled them both. And on that happy note, they headed off into town.

( **A/N: Chiron's got the right idea.)**

They rode in a silence that Will ached to fill, but he was worried he might not say the right thing. Nico would have loved to fill that silence, too, but he had similar worries. He didn't want to get too close only to have his heart ripped in half again. First he lost his sister, then he had to let go of Percy. He couldn't _stand_ to lose his friendship with Will.

Finally, after an awkward ride across town, Argus pulled up at CVS. Will climbed out of the van and thanked him for the transport. Argus simply nodded and drove off once Nico was out. Will heard Nico mutter something about how unpleasant people can be and customary courtesy as they walked through the automatic doors. Their entrance was greeted with an electronic _bee-doo_ from the doors' automated systems and Will gazed around the place. It was almost completely empty. Apparently it wasn't just a lazy day for camp. An attendant was sitting at the register reading from a magazine; two burly men stood over by the snacks. Other than them and Will and Nico, no one else was around. The attendant greeted them with a friendly smile before going back to her magazine.

Will took out his list and grabbed a basket, putting things in left and right. Nico had no idea what Will could be putting in. All he saw was a box of Band-Aids and some hydrogen peroxide. But he trusted that Will knew what he was doing. Occasionally he would sneak in a few things of his own, tossing in a bag of gummy worms and a soda. But Will didn't notice. Or if he did, he didn't care or just turned a blind eye. Nico was grateful for that. He would make sure to thank Will once it was over.

Then something flashed out of the corner of his eye and everything went south. It happened so fast, Nico barely had time to comprehend what was happening and only really understood it afterwards. The two men hanging around had disappeared, though neither boy noticed or cared until the first attacked. Nico just had time to let out a strangled yelp before a bronze chain wrapped around him and pulled him to the ground, his head hitting the floor hard. When he came to moments later, he found himself chained to one of the support poles in the store. You know, the things with the fire extinguishers on them in case of emergencies? Anyway, he blinked open his eyes and searched out Will. He spotted him fighting against the one remaining man with the fire extinguisher, spraying his face so he couldn't see and hitting him over the head.

Will turned tail and almost ran, but he wanted to find Nico first. He noticed Nico being chained to the pole and held their by the first man. But just as he took his first step forward, a horrible pain tore through him. His stomach felt like it was on fire. His mouth opened in a silent scream and his clear blue eyes clouded with pain.

Nico couldn't believe what he was seeing. The second man had taken a celestial bronze sword out while Will's back was turned and the weapon's red-stained blade was now through Will's gut, coming out just below his rib cage. Nico heard himself cry out in shock involuntarily. Will's visage was twisted with agony and he had one hand on the flat of the sword, like he was frozen in time trying to push it back out. Blood gushed from the wound and pooled on the floor, glistening dark red and staining his torn camp T-shirt and jeans. Nico had been to Tartarus and back, but nothing he had seen there even came close to the scene he was witnessing. Or at least, that's what it felt like.

"Will!" Nico cried. He struggled against his bronze chains in vain, all logic and common sense out the window. He heard the attendant shriek in terror and noticed her dialing 911-at least he assumed it was 911-on the wall phone, but his mind didn't prioritize that. It was too busy struggling to convince him that what was happening before him was just a terrible nightmare and that he would wake any second.

No such luck.

Finally his mind kicked it into high gear. He screamed in rage and the floor before him ripped open. Three skeletal soldiers clambered from the depths and raised their swords. (Being the son of Hades had its upsides.) The first cut through his chains like they were butter. The other two took on and defeated the men in moments. Nico only half acknowledged the men exploding into yellow dust at the contact of the weapons on their skin-only confirmation that they were monsters. He was too busy running to Will's side. In order to fight back, the second man-no, not man, monster-had removed his sword from Will's stomach, though he had no luck in successfully defending himself. Once he had, Will had fallen to the floor where he lay now. His face was still contorted in that silent wail of agony, his eyes open wide.

Nico didn't care that by kneeling beside him he was soaking his clothes in blood, he put Will's head in his lap anyway and stared in horror at the broken figure before him. He racked his brain for useful information Will had taught him during the time he had spent helping around the infirmary. He tried to stop the bleeding, but the gauze became soaked red in seconds.

Meanwhile, Will's mind was hardly aware of Nico's futile attempts to save him. At first the pain was unbearable. He felt himself slipping and he was light-headed from blood loss. Then the feeling slowly faded to the background, like a distant memory rapidly escaping one's consciousness. He felt his world being enveloped by a cloud of darkness and he couldn't help but feel as though he himself was fading from existence. Like fighting was idle. As he slipped, he heard the faintest sounds of sirens and thought he heard someone calling his name. And then it was gone. All signs of the outside world vanished and he was alone in a vast emptiness with only flickers of shapes to keep him company.

Outside Will's thoughts, someone _was_ calling his name. Nico was still sitting with Will's head in his lap, crying out to what remained of his consciousness, trying to rouse him. Multiple police cars and an ambulance had pulled up outside. The first police man entered and began speaking with the woman at the counter, trying to find out what had happened. The zombies were gone and the fissure had sealed so that only a small scar in the ground remained as evidence of their being in CVS.

Then the medics ran in. A man and a woman holding medical supplies. This tore at Nico's heart even more because A) it reminded him of how Will was the camp's best healer and B) he didn't want anyone else to so much as _touch_ Will. And he started to cry. Nico di Angelo, son Hades, prince of the Underworld, king of ghosts, master of Tartarus, hero of Olympus, began sobbing into the shoulder of his bloodied and injured friend. The medics exchanged awkward and pitiful looks as they tried to calm the boy down. But Nico shrugged them off and gripped Will's body to his chest, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Finally, after working as best they could with a crying angry boy protecting his friend, they took their supplies back to the ambulance and tried as best they could to explain that Will was gone.

"You think I don't know that!?" He roared. The boy's visage was wet and red from crying, an onyx fire burning in his near-black eyes. "I knew before you got here you inferior piles of bull shit!" Nico screamed. And it was true. As the son of Hades, he could reach out his senses and tell if someone was dead or not. He knew Will was gone before the medics had arrived, though he had tenaciously kept up trying to save Will until the last second when all his hope escaped him and he knew for certain there was no turning back. No fixing his broken friend.

Friend.

A heart-wrenching thought came to mind. They could have been more than friends. He had always hoped they would be. But now…

Nico completely lost it. He grabbed the broken form of Will in his arms and ran to the back of the store where some of the fluorescent lights had gone out. He leaped into the shadows, thinking of the commons of the original twelve cabins, and vanished into the dark…

A split second later, he emerged from the shadows of a tree, forcing himself a few steps before collapsing on the ground ten feet from Hestia's fire pit. At first no one noticed the sobbing boy soaked in his friend's blood sitting in the commons, the body of the Apollo cabin's head counselor in his arms. But as Nico's silent crying gained subtly din, small little whimpers and squeaks, people began wandering over or looking out the cabin windows. The first to rush over was Austin, one of Will's siblings, who looked like he might choke on his own tongue at the sight.

Then little by little other campers came over, either grieving over Will, consoling Nico (to no prevail I might add), or doing both. After Austin came Percy and Annabeth. Annabeth started crying quietly, her face becoming ashen at the bloody sight, and Percy struggled to console her. For the son of Poseidon, he looked pretty seasick himself, despite the fact they were on solid ground. Then Hazel came over and started gingerly hugging her brother, clearly uncomfortable being around the torn body of the demigod. She herself had died once and if not for her brother she would still be in Asphodel, so seeing a dead half-blood made her nervous, but she powered through for her brother's sake.

Finally some of the campers had retrieved Chiron from the Big House. As the centaur trotted over, he himself had an anemic expression to his face similar to that of Annabeth's, except more foreboding, as if he had just visited the oracle's mummy. But since they had acquired a new, much more living oracle, they had had fewer people go insane as well as less creepy prophetic interactions.

Nico ripped his gaze away from Will's body and stared up at his human half, past the white stallion's body he sported from the waist down even though it hurt his neck, baring a watery gaze. When he spoke, his voice shook. "Y-you… you said to… to iris message Argus if something went wrong… T-the way you s-said that… You knew… you knew this was going to happen, didn't you…?" Chiron didn't respond. His sad gaze said everything. This was destined to happen, one way or another. Nico moved his gaze back to Will, even though it hurt to see him this way. "I-it's all my fault…" His voice was little more than a whisper.

"No, Nico! Whatever happened, this isn't your fault." Hazel insisted. She scanned the crowd, her sharp golden gaze challenging anyone to say otherwise.

"No… It is my fault… He might have escaped if he hadn't tried to save me… If I hadn't been there, he would still be alive." Nico sounded so broken, it was hard not to feel pity for him; hard to put any accusation on someone who so willingly blamed himself.

Percy walked up and placed a hand on his shoulder, followed by Jason who stood on his other side. "Come on, man. Let's get you cleaned up." Percy murmured. His sea green gaze was so kind and reassuring, it was hard not to listen. But Nico didn't want to leave Will's body. Instead the boy hugged the battered blond figure to his chest tighter, like it might bring him back and make everything okay again. He silently wished they had never freed Death so Will could come back, but then they would probably all be dead instead. If only he could overlook a soul just this once…

Finally, after an hour of persisting, Nico was forced to abandon his lost crush's body to be taken care of by the Apollo cabin and was led by Percy and Jason to his own cabin. After showering and changing his clothes, he sat on the windowsill and stared out the window in silence. At first his friends didn't want to leave, but Hazel came to check on him and ushered the boys out to leave her brother in peace.

Nico stayed there in the windowsill, every so often getting a visit from someone asking how he was doing or giving condolences. But Nico never moved from his spot on the sill. He never spoke to the visitors. He didn't eat when dinner came. He only got down for the burial service. And he never spoke at all during that time either.

Nico was broken. And very little could fix that…

 **A/N:** okay, so I can't very well leave you there. I'll update with a new chapter soon, though this took me longer than expected so don't hope for an instant update.

Ghosts and a sad, broken boy.

Ironically, I wrote this while eating chocolate, with a torrential storm going on outside. That setting describes this perfectly!

Ugh, I'm so optimistic that even this depressing piece of writing before me that leaves me shaking can't dampen my mood. There is something seriously wrong with me. Haha!

Good luck and good exploring

~Curious Pines


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Tethered to This Earth**

The sun was nearly set, casting an earie red light upon the camp. Everything was silent except for the weary whispers of the campers as they waited, shuffling about in the seats of the arena. The magic fire glowed a despondent dark blue and crackled dangerously low. Few noticed the girl sitting beside it, vying over the fire, trying to keep it going. They were anxious to be over with the sorrowful tradition of the burial shroud burning, but no one dared start without Nico.

Hazel had gone to fetch her brother from his cabin a few minutes ago and hadn't returned yet. The truth was, she wasn't having difficulty getting her brother to go. She was having some, uh, speed issues. Nico refused to move at a normal pace. The entire time he simply stared at the ground and kept his hands in his pockets, his feet moving along in a shuffle.

"Come on, Nico! Just a little further?" She beseeched. It was getting late and the sun was being swallowed by the water and the dark clouds that were gathering, like even the sky was mourning. Nico stayed silent. Finally they entered the arena.

* * *

The whole thing went by in a miserable blur for Nico. He vaguely remembered the burning itself; the smoke that billowed up into the sky.

The Apollo campers didn't even try to lead the sing-along. Some people stayed behind afterwards, reluctant to leave. Nico noticed Cecil and Lou Ellen, Will's best friends. But after a while even they left. The Apollo campers, too. Finally Nico's friends left, Hazel pausing to give him a hug. He remembered her whispering to him, something like "we can talk whenever you're ready," then she and the others left.

And that's when it began to rain.

There was the rumble of thunder, and the first droplets began to fall. The clouds showered the son of Hades with heavy drops, so even if someone were around to see him, they wouldn't be able to tell he was crying, tears streaming silently down his cheeks and falling down his chin, landing on the muddy ground.

It went like that for a while, the boy sitting beside the place where it had all ended for good, in the middle of the arena. No one went to get him. None of the monsters in the woods dared wander out and bother him. Not even Mrs. O'Leary, Percy's pet hellhound, came to him. He was feeling completely alone.

And then a voice whispered in his ear, _Nico._

When Nico turned, at first he saw nothing. Then a shape appeared to him for a fleeting moment before disappearing again. He narrowed his dark eyes at the place where the shape had disappeared, his visage wary and doubtful.

"H-hello?" He called. His voice seemed to echo strangely into the night.

 _Nico!_ The voice repeated, sounding more distressed and hopeful than it had been before. _Nico, don't let go!_

Nico jumped back and fell from his seat, landing in the mud.

"Who… who said that?" Nico slowly backed up, bumping against the fire pit. He looked over his shoulder desperately, but Hestia wasn't there. She had taken the hearth's warmth with her so that only a few coals remained, hissing quietly at the contact of the rain.

 _Nico, it's me! I'm tethered to this earth by you. Whatever you do, don't let me go! I can't go to Hades. I can't see your father._ The voice was painfully familiar and this time shook. Nico had a good idea who this specter in the rain was, though he wasn't sure he was grateful or melancholy about it.

"Will…?" He asked traitorously.

The figure appeared again, this time only flickering once or twice before holding form. A teenager wearing a camp T and jeans, blonde hair and blue eyes. Nico's eyes grew round and this time even he couldn't tell whether the water on his face was rain or tears.

"Will!" He cried. He completely ignored the fact that Will now had no real physical form and ran to him, throwing his arms around his neck. As son of Hades, he had the ability to touch the lairs at Camp Jupiter, so he could still come in contact with the ghost even if others couldn't. "I'm sorry! This is all my fault!" He whispered.

Will jumped at first, then returned the hug _. I… I honestly don't know what to say_. He admitted. _It's all so fuzzy to me. Back at CVS, I remember everything going black. I was… in Los Angelis? And then… and then I wasn't. I was back here at camp_. Will groaned and put a hand on his head, massaging his temples. _I vaguely remember someone telling me about what was going on, but…_ if ghosts could get headaches, Will was having one. Why couldn't he remember?

Nico looked up at him, not caring he was now soaked in rain. He had Will back… sort of…

"My guess is, something was holding you here. As a demigod, you must have been granted some sort of vague recollection of who you used to be. You weren't ready to go to the Underworld. Something held you back; kept you here. Though you sort of already said that…" Nico rubbed his arm awkwardly. To be honest, seeing Will hurt more than 100% losing him because now he could see him, but never really be with him. Will was just a mirage. He wasn't really there and he never would be.

 _I know it doesn't matter much now, but you know I actually kind of had a crush on you._ Will confessed. Nico blinked in surprise and looked back at Will. He felt like slapping himself right then. If only he had actually said something. They could have really been together. But now…

"R-really?" Nico groaned and tilted back his head. "I am so stupid."

Will blinked. _Uh, why?_

"Because… I had a crush on you, too. If only I had said something…" Nico plopped down on a seat in the first row, resting his head in his hands.

Will tilted Nico's chin up to face him, semi-transparent blue eyes gazing down on him, making his heart break a little more. His image was so tantalizing. It was going to drive him mad. _And then what? I would have died anyway. It would just hurt more if you had._

Nico knew he was right. But still, the thought that they could have been together and never got the change hurt more than anything he had felt in his life. He wouldn't be surprise if the zombies from CVS came back with some of their buddies right about then. When Nico got frustrated they tended to show up. Or at least he would cause a fissure in the ground.

Will's presence was reassuring and maddening at the same time. Having the person you love taken from you, then they come back, but you're still alone because they could never really come back to you… it hurt. That was the only way Nico was able to put it. Like when he had summoned Bianca's ghost. She didn't even want to talk to him. Seeing her again in that state had been hard, but Nico had coped because she then disappeared. He didn't have a constant reminder that he could never have her back. So what was he supposed to do now?

Turns out he didn't need to decide. Will took his wrist and gently led him away from the arena. Nico noticed that when his feet made contact with the ground, they left no footprints, unlike Nico's. Just another reminder that Will would never fully be back. Unless he were in the Underworld, Nico could never bring him to the land of the living, and something was tying Will down, keeping him from going there, so that might never happen. And this wasn't Hazel. Hades might not overlook it with Will.

Nico tore his mind away from his thoughts and back to reality as Will guided him to the Hades cabin. Nico didn't even realize he was opening the door until he and Will were standing inside the dark building. Hazel was already asleep on her bunk.

Nico closed the door behind him quietly so as not to wake her and Will brought him over to his own bunk.

 _Good night, my angel…_ Will murmured in his ear. Then his form vanished, leaving Nico alone in his cabin with a sleeping Hazel, listening to the sound of the rain and wind battering the cabin outside and wishing.

 **A/N:** okay. I'm sorry if this chapter is kind of bad. I hit a little writer's block for this part. But the next chapter should be better.

Anyone got ideas?

Good luck and good exploring

~Curious Pines


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: One Can Only Take so Much...**

It had been two weeks since Will had died. Austin was appointed new head counselor, though he didn't seem to like it very much. Kids around camp were starting to spread rumors of the Apollo cabin being haunted the way the Hephaestus cabin once was and Nico supposed they were right. Will was still there, unseen and unheard by anyone but Nico.

Everyone kept their distance from him. Occasionally Percy or Hazel would try to talk to him but he would either snap at them or push them away. He was nearing pure madness from the torture of seeing Will every day and yet having this invisible wall push them apart; the border between life and death. Will never seemed to express this emotion. He seemed a little more distant, like he was afraid that by touching Nico he would hurt him somehow. When the two were alone in the Hades cabin they would talk.

"You should go to the Underworld. No doubt you'll go to Elysium. I could try to bring you back like Hazel. You wouldn't have to be so…" Nico trailed off, unsure of what to say.

 _Haunting?_ Will grinned at that. _I have that impact dead_ and _alive, Nico._ He teased. Nico tried to shove him for that but whenever he did that Will would either side step or make it so Nico simply passed through him and fell onto the bed, arms splayed.

 _Aww, you wanna get in bed with me that badly?_ Will joked.

Nico blushed at that. "Shut up, Solace."

Will raised his hands in mock defeat. "Alright, alright." Then he would start laughing.

That's when Hazel walked in. Nico rolled over so she wouldn't see him blushing and only looked back when he was certain it was gone.

"Hey, Nico." Hazel said, semi-cautiously. "How are you today?" She risked the question and when Nico saw her wince a little and bite her tongue, he started to feel a little guilty for how he had been treating her. He sighed in defeat and sat up on his bed.

"I don't think there's a word for it." He replied. Nico was hanging his head so that his hair fell over his eyes, blocking his expression from view, and he was gripping the side of the mattress like if he let go he might lose himself like a child loses a balloon to the wind. "Somewhat tortured, a little hurt, frustrated.."

Hazel blinked in mild surprise at his response, her golden eyes filling with worry. "Nico… if you don't mind me asking, well, it's just… you never told anyone how it happened. I was just…" She took a deep breath and steeled her nerves before continuing. "What exactly happened two weeks ago at CVS?" Nico didn't move from where he sat. He processed this question.

In truth he had actually expected this. He knew people were curious. But it had always hurt so much to even think about. On the other hand, he knew he should tell someone. And who better than Hazel? Taking a deep breath of his own, he let her in.

"At first everything was fine. But then these two guys attacked us. One bound me to a support pole with a chain of celestial bronze. Will was fighting one of them with the fire extinguisher. He turned to find me and was about to come and help, when the guy he had been fighting took out a sword and…" Nico broke off, his voice quivering with fresh grief. When he looked up at his sister, tears were streaming down his face, his onyx brown eyes filled with an unbearable sadness. Up until then he had been holding in all this emotion, channeling it into hate and frustration. But now it was all pouring out at once, making his heart break all the more.

Hazel cupped her hands over her mouth and gasped, eyes growing round. "Oh, Nico!" She sat beside her brother, hugging the heartbroken teen. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked." She apologized. Nico just shook his head and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I-it's okay. I needed that." He admitted, his voice quavering, though it sounded stronger than before. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. I needed some way to let this all out without breaking down into tears, but I think doing it this way was better for me. It doesn't hurt so much when there's someone else to talk to." Nico confided. He smiled a little, for the first time since Will died, and Hazel felt a small piece of joy forming in her. If she could get her brother to smile, then maybe there was hope after all for the son of Hades.

 **A/N:** aww! How sweet! Sorry for the short chapter. I'm having even more writer's block. But I figured this would be a pretty good place for me to stop.

Hopefully I can get to the point (or at least close to it) by the next chapter.

Good luck and good exploring,

~Curious Pines


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: …Without a Friend by Their Side**

Nico was feeling a lot better. After his talk with Hazel, he apologized to everyone he had hurt or made uncomfortable over the last couple of weeks. Will hadn't shown up very much over the past few days, but on an, ahem, unrelated note, some weird occurrences had been going on in the Apollo cabin and infirmary lately. Little things like windows randomly opening, or items tipping off the shelves. The biggest thing so far was a pen note on Will's old bunk reading 'What's up?'

But now Will was nearly gone completely. Nico had been having unsettling dreams and hadn't gained much sleep last night. Or the night before that. Or the night before that…

He wasn't sure if it was for better or for worse. At first it hurt to see Will when he wasn't really there, but it ached just as badly to not see him at all. Was it his conversation with Hazel? Had he hurt Will's feelings? Was he gone for good?

Will had said the first time he had appeared to Nico _Don't let go._ Nico winced at the recollection. _I'm tethered to this earth by you. Whatever you do, don't let me go!_ With a pang, the full realization hit Nico. Tethered to this earth by _him._ How did he miss that crucial word? He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts, he hadn't discerned that it was him who was keeping Will there. He was the tether. But when he spoke with Hazel, when he told her everything… had he let go after all?

Nico groaned quietly and rubbed his temples. Hazel glanced up from her dinner when he did, a flicker of concern dancing in her eyes, her strange gaze like molten gold.

No one else in the dining pavilion noticed except Hazel, who sat beside him. "Nico, are you okay?" she asked gently. Nico turned back to her, his dark gaze strained and pensive.

"I… probably. I just need some rest." He sighed, placing his head in his hands while still massaging his temples.

"You can say that again. You haven't been sleeping well for nearly a week now." She pointed out. If anyone else had said that, Nico might have punched them, but somehow when Hazel said it, it sounded almost jovial. Hazel had a way with words sometimes, though hers was still far from Piper's charmspeak.

Nico just nodded and stood, trudging off to the Hades cabin.

At first he refused himself sleep, but as the night trudged on, the dark embrace tugged at his eyelids and he slowly drifted off into his next nightmare…

* * *

When Nico blinked open his eyes, he was standing in the forest at camp, but he couldn't be sure which way was out, and which way was deeper into the trees. This was how the dreams usually started. He stood there, waiting for the first monster to lumber out of the trees, prepared to run at an instant. But what came out of the woods was far from a monster.

A shimmering blue-ish figure stepped out, his hair once blonde and eyes once bright blue, wearing a tattered camp T and jeans. His thumbs were in his pockets, a sad, tired look in his once gentle and comforting gaze.

 _Hey, Nico._ The slightly transparent teenager before the son of Hades finally spoke, his voice sounding tired and distant, like he was speaking to him from the other end of a tunnel.

"W-will?" Nico breathed. He hadn't seen the dead healer for nearly a week and, to Nico's dismay, he looked in horrible shape, his scars from the battle that took his life showing plainly in his torn shirt and blood-stained appearance. It looked like he hadn't been sleeping well, either. Did ghosts need sleep? Nico cleared the useless thoughts from his head and stepped forward tentatively. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you in days!"

Will sighed (or did the shade equivalent of one) and moved back just a bit. _You shouldn't have summoned me here. This will only end badly for you. I can't be around you anymore. I… I'm sorry._ He whispered.

"What are you talking about?" At first Nico felt hurt. Then angry. But a feeling of guilt overpowered all of it and his onyx brown gaze softened with pain. "Is… is this my fault? Is it my fault you're so tired and faded?" He held his breath, dreading the answer. But there was none. Will simply looked down at his shoes and moved back a little further. "So it is." Nico's voice hardened, though he wasn't sure if it was from anger or hurt or both or neither. His stomach was performing flips and his heart ached and his mind burned. It was like his own body was fighting for emotional dominance with no clear victor.

Will winced at the harshness of his words. The ghostly figure was having emotional turmoil as well. He didn't want to abandon Nico, but if he stayed, he risked driving Nico mad. He wouldn't be able to stand the guilt. There would be nothing he could do, and that seemed worse than leaving. _I'm sorry._ He repeated, slightly startled by the distant whispering echo that was his voice. _I have no choice. I can't stay at camp anymore._ He looked up with a bittersweet smile. _Time to meet the parents, I suppose._

Nico couldn't stand this. Will was the only person who had ever really cared about him. He wasn't about to let him leave. "No! I… I'll bring you back! I'll save you somehow!" He cried, his voice desperate for an answer to his problems. "I… I can't lose you all over again." He murmured, eyesight blurring with tears.

Will flickered for a moment, then his formed stabilized again. _You can't, Nico. I really have to go. I can't stay much longer._ His voice was urgent and his gaze moved nervously over their surroundings.

"Why?" yelled Nico. The boy had just about had it. "What makes you so sure?"

 _Nico, please-_

"No! I am sick and tired of this!" He snapped. The shadows around them quivered and bent forward, casting ghostly shapes.

 _Of what?_ Will asked, cautiously. He watched the shadows from the corner of his eye like if he took his gaze off of them they might attack.

"Of everything!" Nico snapped, throwing his hands in the air. The shadows stretched a bit closer, rippling like they were attempting to take shapes. "Of this pain and sadness I always feel! Of the cruel jokes the Fates play on me! Of losing everything I care about! Of life!" He blurted the last part out without realizing it and froze. The shadows stopped moving. Will blinked at him and apprehensively reached out to place a hand on Nico's shoulder, but stopped halfway.

 _Did you just-?_ He began.

"No!" Nico insisted. But he knew he was just lying to himself. He had just admitted something he had been trying so hard to push down. That he was tired of life itself. "Just…" Nico hesitated, then the anger flooded his system. He whirled on Will. "Just go away!"

Suddenly the shadows leapt out at them. In a split second they had covered Will, dragging him into the forest and the darkness, just before the black cloud enveloped Nico's vision.

* * *

When Nico woke, his face was wet with tears and his whole body shook. it appeared to be midday by now, but he didn't even prioritize that.

His dream was gone.

His hope was gone.

Will was gone…

 **A/N:** hang in there, we're almost to the fluff stuff. Just one more chapter first and your prayers will be answered! WARNING: the next chapter contains extreme sadness. Read at your own risk! (But you won't get the fluff ending if you don't read that one, because it won't make sense otherwise, so just bear with me.)

Good luck and good exploring,

Curious Pines


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